5 Self Care Strategies that Don't Feel LIke "Work"
If you’ve ever been told you just need to do some “self-care” and you wanted to scream, read on! Self-care has gone from something to relieve stress to another “to do list” item for moms. Planning a trip to the spa means arranging child care, fretting about your child’s runny nose the day before, and feeling guilty for being away for three hours while you pay for a massage.
Arrange a date-day instead of date-night
Instead of trying to arrange babysitting, making restaurant reservations, and stressing about getting home before bedtime, consider moving your moments of reconnection with your partner to another time of day.
If you and your partner both work, you m ight take a lunch break together when the childcare is already taken care of. If you’re a stay at home parent, ask your partner if they can take a walk or meet for lunch during the workday.
For the weekend warriors, it’s often easier to find a one hour teen babysitter you can trust for a little supervised play. Grab a coffee with you partner mid-day instead of waiting until the “witching hour” to try to leave the house.
Build a little “me-time” into your everyday routines
While we don’t promote multi-tasking your way to relaxation, we do recommend pauses throughout the day to reconnect with yourself. Take a moment to sit down and listen to your favorite song. Make yourself a comforting cup of tea to enjoy at the start of baby’s naptime before you jump into chores. Use the expensive facemask or hand cream you were gifted – everyday is worthy of a little treat.
Think about the simple pleasures that bring you joy and find a way to incorporate one or two of them into your everyday routine. Consider it your own personal little “power up” to get you through exhausting days.
Reconnect with old friends
Getting dressed up and going out with friends can feel like an impossible hurdle for us when we’re dealing with so much at home. Reconnection with friends doesn’t need to be a “girls night out” event. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it is that we can find ways to connect remotely. Text a friend, facetime with a glass of wine, or even try one of the many pandemic products that make virtual connection a bit easier, like Facebook Messenger Rooms.
Reflect on your childhood pleasures
What brought you joy and passed hours of time when you were a child? Was it reading a great book, talking to a friend on the phone, or collecting pine cones in the neighboring woods? Think of ways to incorporate your childhood activities into your life today. Maybe you can’t make it to the park you loved as a child, but you can take your own children on an adventure to discover new playgrounds. Perhaps you’ve lost the ability to focus on reading a book, but you can listen to an audio book on a shower speaker or while walking the dog. Remember your favorite candy from childhood? Pick some up the next time you’re in the check out line. In childhood, we found ways to comfort ourselves and bring play and fun into our lives without spending money or feeling stressed. Reconnecting with our childhood pleasure can help us to find simple joy in the everyday.
Let go of the guilt…
If every possible idea to relieve your stress leaves you feeling guilt, it might be time to do some examination around your beliefs about what parenting means. Parenting doesn’t mean focusing only on your child’s needs and not on your own. Years of research and experience working with parents have shown that parents who focus on balance and self-care raise healthier children. Their are countless benefits to caring for one’s self, but doing it full of guilt steals away most of the benefit.
If you’re feeling guilty when you care for yourself, a few therapy sessions might help shed light on the personal beliefs you have that are impacting your feelings. Therapy can help us explore past experiences that influence our thoughts and feelings today. Often, we can lower your stress and guilt in just a few sessions so you can focus more on yourself and start feeling better.
When you can’t relax, enjoy the moment, or reconnect with your partner…
When you can’t relax, enjoy simple moments, or reconnect with your loved ones, you might have run on “empty” for too long. It may be time to consider seeing a therapist to assess for depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges that are keeping you from living life to the fullest. Please reach out today if you’re finding “self-care” at the bottom of your list of priorities day in and day out. Don’t wait until the “wheels fall off” to get help. The sooner you reach out for support, the sooner you will start feeling better.
Please contact us to discuss your needs and how we can help!