5 Signs Your Relationship Will Last

Relationships don’t come with a crystal ball, but there are signs that a relationship will last.  If your goal is long term love, read on to understand some signs and signals that your relationship is built on solid footing.  Even if you don’t see these signs, don’t worry!  Couples Counseling can help your relationship get back on track.   Here are five signs your relationship will last: 

You can be yourself with your partner 

If you’ve been together awhile and you find you can be your true self, this is a sign your relationship will go the distance.  Do you find yourself hiding your true colors?  Maybe you don’t share that quirky TV show you love or your penchant for plaid pants?  Ask yourself why you don’t feel comfortable being yourself.  If your partner likely wouldn’t accept you, then this relationship might not fulfill you long term.  If you can show your true colors, you might be together for the long-haul!

Additionally, if you’re finding it hard to be yourself, you might want to explore whether this pattern shows up in other relationships.  If so, you might consider working on accepting yourself and loving yourself so you can be more comfortable in your relationship.  

The people you love, love your person 

Think of the three people you are closest to, whose opinion of you really matters.  We’re not talking about your toxic uncle who you need to set clear boundaries with.  We’re talking about your mom, your best friend, your cherished grandfather.  If they love the person you are with, it’s a sign that they might be a good fit for you long term.  Be careful about the outsiders you consider and only think about the opinions of people with whom you have a healthy relationship.

However, if you can’t identify healthy family or friends who’s opinion matters, you may need to explore your own relationships outside of your romantic relationship.  Do you have trouble trusting others?  Do you struggle to connect?  Have you been abused or hurt by others?  Any of these experiences or patterns can make it harder to stay close to your romantic partner.    

You feel safe together and apart 

Healthy attachment means feeling comfortable nurturing one another and coming together, as well as allowing one another to venture out.  If you feel comfortable letting your partner go out with friends or travel for work with little worry about their return, this is a good sign that you’ll be close in the long term.  If you find yourself anxious and unsettled with the idea that your partner is away from you, you may be struggling with trust issues or anxious attachment.  Alternatively, if you don’t feel peaceful or excited when you come back together with your partner, you may be struggling with attachment challenges. 

Therapy can help you better understand your attachment patterns and how they show up in your relationships today.  Don’t give up on your relationship if this is a struggle for you!  But do consider finding a therapist you can trust to explore these challenges.  

You share the same values 

You don’t have to agree on everything or have interests that align perfectly, but do you share the same values?  Do you love spending time with family and your partner does too?  Do you both prioritize travel or outdoor time or self care?  Identify three to five core values and ask your partner to do the same.  How many are similar?  Are they all completely different?  Do you want to spend years with somebody with those values?  This exercise can tell you a lot about your future. 

Couples Counseling can be a great way to engage in some of these difficult conversations with your partner.  While these conversation may seem awkward or unusual on a night out to dinner, a couples counselor can guide you through exercises that will help you know one another better. 

You genuinely like each other 

This one might seem obvious, but ask yourself whether you genuinely like your partner for who they are.  What are the three things that come to mind when you think of why you love your partner?  Are they superficial things or elements of their core personality and person?  When you genuinely like somebody, you’re likely to be able to work through differences and reconnect.  

If you remember a time when you liked one another, but that seems to have faded away, consider how couples counseling could help.  We’re experts in helping couples reconnect and we think all of these challenges can be overcome if a couple is truly committed to one another.   You don’t have to be married or have spent years together to work on your relationship.   Call us today for a free 15 minute phone consultation. To learn more about Couples Counseling and how Skylands Wellness can help, click here.   Skylands Wellness accepts all couples – we are an LGBTQ+ friendly practice