Was My Birth Really Traumatic?

You knew giving birth would be difficult, so you might be wondering, “Was my birth really traumatic?”  Often, mothers compare their stories with others and wonder why they’re having so much trouble feeling better about their own birth experience.  This article might help you understand why your experience is hard to get over and what you can do to feel better.  

If it felt traumatic and you can’t get past it, trust your gut

If thinking about your birth gives you an awful feeling in your stomach, causes you to feel anxious or depressed, or makes you want to run away, these are signs of a traumatic birth.  Don’t compare the actual facts of your labor and delivery to other mothers.  There will always be somebody who has a horror story worse than yours.  Trauma occurs when the brain feels threatened and is unable to find ways to protect you and keep you safe.  

Even if you were completely safe and you have fully recovered physically, if your brain felt threatened by the birth experience, for any reason, you may be experiencing post traumatic stress symptoms!

Any actual or possible injury to you or your baby can result in trauma

We’ve seen mothers traumatized by an array of experiences.  Even being unclear about what is happening or thinking that your doctor won’t make it to delivery on time can be a source of trauma.  This is a threat to your wellbeing and your baby’s wellbeing.  The birth experience is often both intense and exhausting.  Many providers neglect to share information with mothers, making them perceive threat even when the doctor is not concerned.  Additionally, the physical pain of birth opens the brain up to heightened threat perception.  Pain is usually an indicator of danger.  Therefore, often seemingly benign experiences can feel much more threatening to the birthing mother.  Trauma occurs when these perceived, threatened, or actual injuries occur.  

The thoughts and memories are popping up everywhere  

Many mothers with birth trauma report difficulty falling asleep because flashbacks to the memories occur when they close their eyes.  Others report nightmares that keep them up even when the baby is sleeping.  Some mothers stare blankly, disconnected to what’s happening now because their minds are lost in the bad memories of labor and delivery.  Intrusive thoughts about the birth, nightmares, and disconnection from the present day are all signs of a post traumatic stress response.  

I just can’t go there…avoiding thinking about the traumatic birth

Another sign of a traumatic birth is the avoidance of experiences that might remind you of your own birth.  If you find talking to other new moms about birth distressing or you have to switch off the television when a woman is in labor, this may be a sign that your own birthing experience was traumatic.  If you’re often avoiding certain reminders or experiences, or if the thought of another birth terrifies you, then postpartum therapy may be helpful in feeling better about your birth experience. 

It feels like my brain is broken    

If it feels like the way you think about everything has changed, this may be your brain’s response to the trauma.  If you feel as if their are lapses in your memory of the details of your birth experience are fuzzy, then it’s likely that you did experience trauma.  Many mothers feel a huge sense of responsibility for what went wrong that they just can’t get past – “It’s all my fault.”  Others feel as if their life and safety, or the life of their baby, remains in danger even after you’re home safe and sound.  You may experience persistent sadness and difficulty enjoying things that you once looked forward to.  

Getting help can help you heal  

If you’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings like these for more than three weeks, or if these feelings prevent you from taking care of yourself or your baby, consider Postpartum therapy.  An experienced provider that understands both perinatal mental health and trauma can help you overcome your negative feelings and enjoy life again.  Postpartum Support International provides additional resources on birth trauma.   

Are you ready to feel like yourself again? Call us today for a free 15 minute phone consultation. To learn more about Postpartum Therapy and how Skylands Wellness can help, click here.