Will EMDR Work without Childhood Memories?
You’ve been told that EMDR can help you overcome a difficult childhood, but will EMDR work without childhood memories? Your memories of the past are few and far between. You know there were probably some hard parts, but you think it was not terrible overall. Or perhaps a sibling or family member has told you that your struggles are probably related to your past, but you can’t quite figure out what happened.
EMDR can help even if the past is fuzzy
It’s not uncommon to have limited or fuzzy past memories when you’ve had difficult past experiences. Oftentimes, our minds protect us from difficult or unresolved past experiences. You may remember things that are more pleasant or flashes of bad moments, but you might not remember great detail. When working with an EMDR therapist, there are strategies we use to help you make new connections between your past and present.
How can you help me figure out my past?
EMDR starts with a thorough assessment of who you are, what’s important to you, what struggles you identify as holding you back now, and a medical and health history. We’ll talk about present day challenges, symptoms , and triggers and how those interfere with you’re functioning. For many people, a deeper discussion of present day challenges will trigger memories that might have contributed. We’re trained to help you explore these challenges from a model called the Adaptive Information Processing model that underlies EMDR work. We know which questions to ask and how to help you gain a new perspective on some of these challenges even in the assessment phase.
What if I uncover something awful that I don’t want to remember?
Many people worry about uncovering a repressed memory, such as horrific sexual abuse from a loved one. While repressed memories are very real and a possibility, it’s rare to uncover deeply disturbing material like this without any idea that something like this happened in your past. We work with you to build up your tolerance for distress and to develop coping skills to manage anything that might come up. We’re prepared for whatever may come up, but we often find that the memories that surface are actually a a relief. Many clients state that they feel so much better after realizing what experiences have shaped their present day struggles.
But I’m pretty sure something awful has happened and I’m not ready to deal with it.
You are pretty sure you did experience some pretty horrific things in your past, you sort of know they happened, but you can’t remember them and you aren’t sure you want to. In the therapy room, you’re driving the car. The therapist acts as your GPS, helping you figure out the best route for you. Sometimes we want to take the scenic route when we’re driving, discovering new things along the way. Other times, we need to take extra rest stops to recoup and gather. Your therapist will help you figure out which route you want to take and when you might want to change course. We won’t leave you feeling lost and alone dealing with your past. A large part of our job is understanding your fears, helping you figure out ways to manage in the present day, and following your lead on what you are comfortable with. You will work on developing a safe and open relationship with your therapist right from the start.
Can I talk to you about whether EMDR will work for me?
Everybody’s situation is different and you might be worried that your experience isn’t the same as other clients we’ve seen. We invite you to reach out to us set up a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss your specific experience. Feel free to ask any questions you have. We’ll let you know what we think we can do to support you and help you address the symptoms you have today. If you feel ready to get started, we’ll schedule an intake and start your journey to a more connected and content life.
Call us today for a free 15 minute phone consultation. To learn more about EMDR Therapy and how Skylands Wellness can help, click here.